You cannot continue to build on damaged foundations and the same applies to a relationship.
RELATIONSHIP:Broken relationships are so frequent in our changing society that one wonders why spiritual and non spiritual counseling has not brought forth more books on the subject to be of help to those suffering the aftermath. Relationships are the spiritual tests urging the soul onward. The emotional immaturity of one partner gradually increases strain.
Often when you feel that your relationship is on the rocks or about hitting the rock, the first thing on your mind would always be how to stop it from ending and how to make the other person stay. But if there is something seriously wrong, then convincing your partner not to leave and convincing yourself that you have to stay together without working on the problems that you have together is like putting a bandage over a gunshot wound: You cannot continue to build on damaged foundations and the same applies to a relationship. You must work together to break it down and re-build it stronger and there are many ways to do this, but they all revolve around a few basic tenets like communication, trust, mutual understanding, hard work and commitment.
Communication: This is the life wire for a healthy relationship that is to say, for a successful relationship there must be a good communication. But when hurt feelings are involved it is often difficult to communicate in a clear and rational way, and discussions often devolve into arguments which solve nothing, but rather worsen situation. Identifying what is essentially broken with your relationship is the first step to healing it and moving forward in a new way together. Set aside a time with no distractions to commit fully to discussing your problems in a sincere and open manner. Allow your partner time to speak without interrupting and without jumping to conclusions, and try not to get angry. Then take your own turn to air your personal issues yourself
Mutual understanding: is another important key factor to addressing rift in a relationship. Communication is key to establish a baseline of mutual understanding. Recognizing your own failings and your own abilities is a powerful tool in all aspects of life but especially in a relationship. Own your mistakes, take full responsibility for them but also take responsibility for your future growth. If your partner also does this, then the two of you can flourish together.
Commitment: This is another indispensible factor that must be recognized. Partners must agree to join forces together in other to build a successful relationship. It is not a one person game, rather a mutual game. Make a plan and stick to it, work together, and if you find that things get worse, agree together to change your plan because it isn't working. You cannot give up on bad days or when things get tough, if you want things to be easy on the good days.
FINANCEWhen you're worried about your debts and you're trying to decide on the best way to solve your financial problems, many people start to wonder if they missed something as they went through school. As adults we're expected to know how to manage our money properly. However, either a lot of people skipped that class, or maybe it was never offered. The good news is that you don't need a degree from an ivy-league university to help you solve financial problems. Here are some steps that you can challenge yourself with if you want to solve your money and debt problems.
Step 1 Learn to Live on Cash When is the last time you only used cash to pay for your purchases acculturare the habit of paying for your purchases with cash.? Debit and credit cards help many people develop bad money habits. With cash, it's very easy to tell if you can afford to pay for something or not.
Step 2 Track Your Spending Try to ask yourself this simple but important question…What do I spend my money on? Every pay day there's money in our bank account, but it never seems to last long enough.
Step 3 Create a Budget to Solve and Prevent Financial Problems Creating a monthly plan for your spending is one of the smartest things you can do for your finances, yet it's the most overlooked solution to most people's financial problems. Having a spending plan or a budget (the technical name for a monthly spending plan) makes life so much easier because you've given yourself a guide to decide how you want to spend your money.
Step 4 Find a Replacement for One Large Expense in Your Monthly Budget Cutting out an expense or changing a habit is easier if you replace it with something else. For instance, if you want to quit buying expensive coffee on your way to work, plan how you can replace this habit with a new one. You might buy yourself a new travel cup and purchase some coffee that you enjoy drinking (and can make at home!). Then change your routine so that you're not tempted to stop somewhere for coffee, e.g. travel a different route to work.
Step 5 Identify Expenses You Can Reduce Over the next month, identify areas of your budget that need some special attention. Look for ways to decrease your spending with your utilities. Do your laundry with cold water instead of hot; turn the heat down and the lights off when you're not home. If you have a home phone as well as a cell phone, decide if you need both. Routines can be hard habits to break.
Step 6 Create a Plan to Pay off Your Debt Dealing with debt sooner than later leaves you with more options. Everybody has some, so is it really that big a deal? Yes, it can be. If you have debt that has slowly accumulated over a number of years, you need realistic debt solutions that work for your life style, not quick fixes that you can't live with for the long term. At some point interest rates will start going up and eventually.
Step 7 Educate Yourself Last but not least, one of the best things any high level university could instill in its students is the desire to learn more. Any degree of learning from our mistakes is worthwhile, especially when we're educating ourselves about how to manage our money and debt better. Your final assignment is to keep learning. Take on more challenges or homework from the school of common cents. Life skills that further develop your new money habits will keep you on track with your budget, help you avoid financial problems, and help you plan for your future successfully. And that's a graduation worth celebrating!
LIFEWe all have trouble areas in our lives. No matter how many you seem to knock off, there are always more to deal with. That's not a bad thing, and it's not a self-defeating attitude so long as you look at life as a journey in self-improvement. In as much as life's purpose is to constantly improve ourselves, we need a plan of action so that we can consistently conquer. Here are some of the approaches to adopt.
1. Identify the Area It's important to be specific about the issue you're dealing with. There's no point being obtuse in your definition; uncertainly leads to inaction. Don't say, “I need to deal with my health.” Say, “I need to stop smoking,” or “I need to lose weight.”
2. Identify the Patterns Identifying the patterns involved with your bad behavior is important. It helps you narrow down the most effective solutions and implement them at the right times and places.
3. Determine the Causes This can be a tricky step, because sometimes the causes that motivate your behaviors are deep rooted and tough to spot. Be honest in pointing them out.
4. Research the Issue Armed with some knowledge of your problem patterns and their causes, you can proceed on to doing some research on the issue. The introspective knowledge is important for framing the external information you'll be digging through; it helps you sort through relevant and irrelevant material much more quickly.
5. List the Solutions Part of your research will include finding known solutions. You want to find as many as you can and filter them for relevance and effectiveness.
6. Test the Solutions Allocate a certain amount of time to test each solution in the list based on how long you'd guesstimate it needing before it takes effect. If you see results, stick it out unless you become sure that the results have ceased and a more effective solution is needed.
7. Review Your Progress As you progress, make sure to review your process regularly. It seems like a given but you'd be surprised how often people keep trying to solve a problem using the same fix even when it doesn't work. Is the solution working? What about the solution is producing results? In that light, are there other solutions that will work better or faster based on the way the situation is resolving itself? It could be worth giving the alternative a shot if there's enough reason to believe it'll work better. At the end of the day, the process of fixing problem areas in your life comes down to two basic principles:
1. Understand the problem and the solutions available. 2. Test, tweak, rinse and repeat until you succeed.
If you can do this consistently, you can beat any problem; just give yourself enough time to test and tweak until you find out what works, and don't expect miracles.